You check your bank balance and your chest gets tight. You are paying your bills on time. Nothing is wrong. But you still feel like one bad month could change everything.
Almost everyone in this city talks to me about money at some point. Most of them are not broke. Living here makes it hard to feel like you are financially getting ahead.
You check your balance before you buy lunch. You run the numbers on rent in your head at night. You compare what you spent this month with last month.
All of this makes sense in an expensive city. You just never get to stop. You never reach a point where you feel far enough ahead to relax.
In my work with clients, I see this at almost every income level. Someone earning twice what they did five years ago often feels about the same pressure. Their rent went up with them.
You read about the next IPO. A friend buys a house. A former coworker’s company gets acquired.
If you are comparing yourself to others that have these accomplishments, earning a competitive good salary can feel like falling behind. Most of the people you are comparing yourself to are outliers. They just happen to be the ones you see.
This works the same way as any comparison you make online. You are looking at the top and treating it like the middle.
Your chest gets tight when a bill shows up. You sleep badly the week rent is due. Your jaw is sore after you look at your account.
That is anxiety. You react the same way whether there is an actual or perceived threat. Plenty of people I see have enough money and still report feeling this way.
If the physical side is the hardest part, how to calm your body when your mind is racing has techniques you can use in the moment. If it keeps you up, try our tips to stop overthinking and sleep better.
Pick one day a week. Sit down and look at the actual numbers. Income, rent, savings, what is coming up.
Then check as little as you can in between.
If the numbers are fine, then these thoughts are common when it comes to financial worry. Therapy can help with financial worry thoughts.
Some people put off getting help because they are worried about what it costs. Our page on the cost of therapy explains how fees and insurance work.
If money has been on your mind more than it should be, reach out to Good Therapy SF for a free 15-minute consultation. We see clients across San Francisco, Marin, and the Peninsula.
Dr. Tom McDonagh, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Good Therapy SF. He trained at Vanderbilt and completed his postdoctoral work at Kaiser Permanente. His practice focuses on anxiety, OCD, panic, and work stress, with a special focus on San Francisco professionals. Good Therapy SF is located at 870 Market Street, Suite 617, San Francisco, CA.
