So another primary emotion that we experience is the emotion of anger. And while we’re all familiar with the emotion of anger, we know what that feels like, it can be useful just to touch base real quick and from a clinical perspective, discuss it further.
So often with anger, it’s often occurring because at some level we have an expectation or a sense of how something should have happened, and that thing has not occurred. And from our perspective, we tend to feel like either the universe, like a very general sensation, or someone specifically intentionally cross that line, or something happened that made us feel unfair. So when that expectation that we have in these moments is not met because we think someone did it intentionally, or because we develop a sense of unfairness that should not have happened that often is going to create a feeling of anger from a cognitive behavioral therapy perspective.
And then, just from an evolutionary perspective as well, like, why would we have the sensation of anger? The truth is that actually we tend to get pretty effective when we’re angry. Either when we get angry, other people tend to listen to us or notice us more. So from a social perspective, it’s pretty useful to be angry. And they’ve actually found too with with anger, often there is a release of endorphins or more feel good chemicals as well. So at a biological level, it feels good at times, or at some level to be angry. And that must mean that it’s beneficial from an evolutionary perspective as well.
The more you understand about an emotion from that perspective, the more you can navigate it and be effective with it. So That’s where the purpose of anger comes from ultimately, we often have a social benefit to it. And there seems to be a way for us to chemically have an evolutionary benefit to it as well.
So with that being said, what are some more healthy ways for us to process and use anger in our daily life that’s more helpful. So sometimes it’s really helpful to identify the root cause. Pausing when you can and reflecting on what triggered the anger can be useful. I often talk to clients say that when you do that, you’re actually doing a form of like self validation.
So it feels good or emotionally soothing in a way to like work backwards and be like, okay, what am I actually angry about in this situation? So identifying the root cause can be useful. There’s also the benefit of simply pausing or taking a beat before reacting to what the angry emotion is telling us to do.
A lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and other therapy approaches focus on awareness of anger as it’s often building up if we can. Making sure that you catch it in the early stages before it’s too far gone, and we’re just unable to pause or pausing just isn’t an option at that point. So pausing before reacting by being aware and often using deep breathing or grounding techniques to help manage the buildup of anger before it becomes too much.
In addition to that, when it comes to processing and using anger in a more helpful way, we can express our anger more constructively, often through the use of I statements. Which is something that maybe a lot of people have heard it before in the past. But it’s really useful to connect to the emotion from that perspective, as opposed to pointing the finger at somebody else and saying, you did this, therefore I’m mad. Even if that feels justified and right in the moment, that’s often going to be an unhelpful way to approach anger. Because it’s only going to rile you up more and make you feel more unfair or more unjustified in what occurred. So when you take the I statement approach, it really does help to work with the emotion in a more useful or helpful way.
And then also being proactive can also be helpful as well. Again, going back to anger is a moment when people tend to listen to us, right? So if you’re feeling a sense of anger, it can be good at times to use the energy that comes with anger and channel it more effectively. Sometimes that’s going to be a challenging conversation where maybe you left certain things on said. Perhaps other times it’s going to be actually like doing something in your life that needed to be done that the anger can be useful kind of tool in that way.
There are some really useful ways to work with anger against reviewing them again. It’s identifying the root cause, pausing before reacting, expressing the anger in a more constructive way, often using I statements. And then doing something physically by channeling the anger into some type of action.
If you’re more interested in learning about these types of experiences with primary emotions or anger specifically, and you feel like what we’ve been talking about here is of interest or applies to you, please feel free to reach out to us here at Good Therapy SF.
Take care.
