So this time of year, often our clients at Good Therapy SF come to us and talk about their goals for the new year or their New Year’s resolutions that they want to focus on for the upcoming year.
In my experience, that’s a great conversation to have with clients. However, there’s a few challenges or tricks that I can try to mention here that might help with those new year’s resolutions. To begin with most New Year’s resolutions tend to fail because people have overly ambitious or really vague goals for themselves.
And on top of that these overly ambitious or vague goals lack a clear action plan or any type of like accountability that’s built into these goals. People tend to have these kind of all or nothing mindsets as a result of it. And then, of course, when it’s overly ambitious and vague and there’s a lacking plan, there’s a lack of accountability, of course, you’re not going to follow through with it. And then people beat themselves up and they forget about the goal entirely. So those are things you really want to try to avoid when you’re making these new year’s resolutions.
So what’s a solution here to help out with this? Something called SMART goals. S. M. A. R. T. So it’s specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound. When you use those parameters, people tend to be more likely to follow through and achieve their new year’s resolutions or the particular goal that they’re seeking out. So again, that’s specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound.
Another approach that can help with creating your new year’s resolutions is focusing on the smaller wins. I can’t tell how many times I hear from people- I see them have a success and people say, yeah, I should’ve been doing that already anyway. And they’re already dismissing the success that they already worked towards.
Cause they’re only thinking about the end result. So really you got to remind yourself, you’re going to have success, if you really start to take the smaller, more achievable steps that get there and you focus on those small steps along the way. Just only focusing on the end result is almost a guaranteed way to not get the goal that you’re working towards.
So in addition to setting SMART goals and focusing on those smaller wins, tracking your progress actually really helps out with setting these New Year’s resolutions or goals as well. And it can be something as simple as just making an X on a calendar or marking something in your phone to just acknowledge that you did something, just that accountability that’s built in there can really help out with working towards that goal.
And then it can also too for what it’s worth when it comes to accountability, sometimes letting other people know about it or having some sort of reminder pop up to yourself, whether it’s an app in some ways. Just so you have that kind of external check in with someone. Often with my clients, I have them talk to me about it. And just having to tell another person whether you did or did not do something can really help as well.
And then finally we can really focus on some type of self compassion when we’re working towards these goals. Because very often their goals for a reason, because they’re challenging. And we’re not always going to be successful. So I had a supervisor. He used to say, making the attempt In and of itself is the success, especially in the beginning. So really internalizing that, I think is a good way to approach it. So just one more time, making the attempt in and of itself is the success and the outcomes will come afterwards. So long as you continue to show up and work towards that goal. So when you take that approach, that really helps to prioritize that self compassion in this new year’s resolution. Or goal setting process.
So if you have any more questions about this please feel free to reach out to us here at Good Therapy SF.
Take care.
