Ever replay a conversation in your head hours later and cringe? Hi, I’m Dr. Tom McDonagh, a psychologist at Good Therapy SF.
Replaying conversations is one of the most common anxiety patterns I see. It’s exhausting, but it’s not random. Here’s why your brain does this and how to interrupt it.
First, your brain is scanning for social threats. Replaying conversations is your mind’s way of checking and asking,
“Did I mess up?”
Second, uncertainty keeps the loop alive. When you don’t get clear feedback, your brain fills in the gaps, and that’s usually with self criticism.
Third, the goal is not to find the “right” answer. The replay doesn’t lead to clarity, it just fuels more anxiety.
And lastly, you can interrupt the loop intentionally. Try to do this by naming the pattern and redirecting your attention. This can help your nervous system settle down.
So if replaying conversations is draining your energy, therapy can help you quiet the loop and build social confidence.
