Hi, I’m Dr. Tom McDonagh, a psychologist at Good Therapy SF. We all have moments when we feel ready to explode and a partner, coworker, or even ourselves. Anger is a natural emotion, but when it surges too fast, it can hijack your body and your judgment.
Let’s talk about how to cool down quickly and regain control. So here’s what’s happening in your body. When you’re angry, your body floods with stress hormones. Your heart rate increases, muscles tense, and your breathing gets shallow. This reaction peaks quickly, but if you fuel it with angry thoughts, it can last much longer.
So we wanna try to catch it early. First, try to notice your initial cues, a tight jaw racing heart, or feeling hot or impatient. Try catching anger early. Can give you the best chance to redirect it before it becomes too much. Also, try to step back to reset, physically move away from the situation if you can.
Even a few steps or a short pause can help stop the escalation. Also try to use slow deliberate breathing. Counting in for four seconds and counting out for six seconds, for example, can help calm your fight or flight response. Also, try to label the emotion that’s beneath the anger. Often anger masks deeper feelings like fear, frustration, or shame.
Naming what’s really happening can help you respond with clarity instead of defensiveness. Also try to reengage thoughtfully. Once your body calms down, revisit the situation with a wider perspective. You can express your needs clearly without attacking. For example, I feel disrespected when instead of you never listen last.
Sometimes we have to seek support. So if you find yourself losing control or often feeling angry without a clear cause, therapy can help. Reach out to Good Therapy SF for more.
