Ever try to speak up for yourself and it turned into an argument? Let’s try to change that.
Hi, I’m Dr. Tom McDonagh from Good Therapy SF. One communication shift, drawn from nonviolent communication, can help you express your needs without blame or conflict.
So first start with the observation, not the judgment. Say what you saw or heard, not your interpretation. For example: “You didn’t call”, as opposed to “You don’t care about me”. Then name the feeling. Not “You made me feel”, but instead “I felt hurt” or “I feel unimportant.” This keeps the focus on your experience.
Then try to follow with the need. Try: “I need to feel considered” or “I need more consistency.” Naming the need prevents blame and builds understanding.
Finally, make a clear, doable request. Something like: “Would you be open to checking in before you’re late?” This invites collaboration instead of defense.
So learning to communicate this way can transform your relationships. If you want support, we’re here a Good Therapy SF.
